I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
