Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
