my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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