i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
