everyone is single if you try hard enough
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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