Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
