i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
