She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
