let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
