Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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