Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
