Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
