There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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