The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
