I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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