Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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