i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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