Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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