Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
