i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
