Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
