i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
