Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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