was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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