I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
