i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
