No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
