K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
