out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
