considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
