it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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