i barfeds in our rink
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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