when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
that is very illegal...i love you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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