Why are handjobs necessary in class?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
