my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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