so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
