Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this hospital has no fireball
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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