YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
