I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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