Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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