just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
