Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
