party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
