so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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