i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
