I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
