i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
