why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
