i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
