yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
