Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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